Just Call Me Thomas Peter (aka Little Faith Doubter)

Why is it that when I pray, I don't really believe God will answer, and especially not answer huge?! How come when He answers my prayers, and answers them huge, I am always so stunned and amazed? Do I not remember what happened last time when God answered huge, and I was stunned, and then ashamed for being stunned, because of course God would answer huge...? I wonder if God ever feels like beating His head against a golden brick wall over me and my failure to learn and believe how awesome He really is. I do know, head beating or not, that He seems to have to constantly teach me the same lesson, over and over. So long as it's showing me how awesome He is, I suppose it's not a bad lesson to learn and re-learn!

So last weekend we had an event planned for our church's Spanish ministry - a children's Christmas party. I was moaning about the insufficient advertising and lack of promotion, lamenting the lack of general church support or participation, and frustrated by things that didn't get done. "No one is going to come!" I thought. So I tried my best to adopt an attitude (somewhat juvenile, I confess) of "whatever!". I was prepared to view it as I would a Sunday morning in Sunday School - just teach the lesson, give 'em a snack and a craft, and hope they remember God loves them. I was definitely following Peter's downward steps into the sea, modeling Thomas' "see it to believe it" stubbornness. I did most certainly pray that God would bring people, but I didn't believe He would. Well. Turns out God packed the house, pretty much. The cookies and crafts we were sure we would have to donate to Sunday School the next day were quickly consumed, and almost even came up short. There were so many parents happily chatting that I had to kindly request their silence in order to tell the children the story of Christ's birth. It was beautiful. And it put me to shame. I believed nothing. God answered big.